Weekly Update for Week of 6/23/23

Read all about it. Weekly update for the week of June fucking June 23, 2023.

Hey, kid, give me a paper. I don't know.

Oh, here you go, sir. The the discreet Air Weekly Times.

They still put that out.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, maybe I should have said that.

Just shitting on our own podcast.

Why not?

You love to see it.

Yeah, you do.

Absolutely.

Hell, yeah.

So how's your week been?

Good. Went to Chicago to visit my brother and his wife and his kids and our mom and stayed over and did all my wife had never, ever been there, so we did a lot of the touristy shit, and it was fun.

Windy city, you get a Chicago dog.

Oh, the Bears got the Bears eats pizza.

Actually, Chicago doesn't have pizza. They have marinara bread bowls.

Okie doe. They lie and say, is pizza fucking shit's delicious?

Everyone in Chicago is brain damage. They think you put the sauce on top of the cheese.

Yeah, because it's better. It tastes better. No big deal.

It is better.

It is better.

Oh, God. I think the only all right, let's do this. We're going to fucking do this on the pod right now.

Okay.

We're ranking pizza styles.

Okay?

Obviously, in number one is the New York Slice.

Not true. You're already incorrect. You've started off you've built a throne of lies. And I'm not going to say Chicago deep dish style. I'm going to say a tavern style is the best pizza. Chicago tavern style.

What is a tavern style?

It's super thin crust, very crispy crust. And it's cross cut. I think. What's it called out there, what's it called? Fresh brothers. That's Chicago Tavern style. That is the most superior of all pizzas.

It's true. Okay, so here's something I think we can at least agree on. Detroit style. The fucking worst.

I had Detroit style for the first time, and I didn't despise it. I thought it was interesting.

Detroit pizza is fucking elementary school cafeteria ass pizza. Wow.

Our Detroit listenership is Plummeting.

Oh, God. I'm surprised everyone in Detroit has sold their smartphone.

I will say I've not had it. But everyone I've talked to that says, hey, you ever had St. Louis Pizza? And they go, no. And they're like, maybe you don't need to. I'm not sure you'll like it. Like, people from St. Louis even don't stand by their pizza. They're like, I'm not sure you'll like it. So that might be the actual worst.

Possibly. I'm looking at a list of pizza styles right now, and it says St. Louis Pizza features provo cheese. I don't think you know what the fuck.

No one knows what that is.

No one knows what that is.

And a sweeter tomato sauce. I have never eaten pizza and been like, goddamn, I wish this tomato sauce was sweeter.

Yeah, I want it nice and sweet.

Yeah, can I get waiter, can I get some sweet and low from my fucking pizza.

No.

Yeah, I've heard people from St. Louis say I like St. Louis pizza. Have you ever had it? And I'm always like, no. And they're like, Maybe you won't like it. You probably won't like it. So they don't looking at a picture.

Of it and it looks like microwave pizza.

Yeah, it's like fucking tube tony's tubes. You put them on the flip, it upside down. You get the silver little bottom to crust unquote.

What was that? Mama Celeste.

There you go. Mama Celeste.

Mama Celeste pizza. Okay, so let's go through this list and see what california Pizza or Gourmet Pizza as it's known, apparently.

Come on.

That's nothing. Not real pizza, honestly. Okay, so there are obviously places in California that have good pizza. And I like, of course. But I do not think that California has a great pizza culture.

No, I mean, they did california Pizza Kitchen is what they're talking about. Like, that oh, barbecue chicken pizza. And it's like there was a little while.

It's fine.

There was a while that was a thing, but it didn't spawn a style. It's just everyone else started making barbecue chicken pizza. You know what I mean? There's nothing different. There's nothing else. I guess because it's on Focaccia. Fuck that. Who cares? No, that might be the worst.

I will say that I have had Chicago style pizza in both Chicago and Los Angeles. And I think it's better in Los Angeles.

That's wrong. You went to Masa, where'd you go in Chicago?

I don't remember.

You probably went to some fucking probably went to some fucking chain.

I believe the local pronunciation is a sabaro.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, further down the list, we've also got Greek pizza, which that's just a flatbread, right?

Yeah, I don't know anything about that.

That doesn't this looks like shit.

Yeah, no, not for us.

Yeah, there's black olives on it. Fucking come on, let's see.

Olives. Come on.

If you eat black olives at all, you should be put on a no fly list.

Yes, agreed.

Then there's Sicilian pizza. Oh. Which is just Italian square pizza, right?

Yeah, usually, which is good.

Certain places do it well.

Yeah, fine.

It's very similar to Detroit, I will say.

But it's very fluffy.

Yes. Yeah.

I feel like Sicilian pizza reminds me of, like, personal pan pizza. Hut pizza. Like that. That is the fluffiest crust in the world is a Pizza Hut personal pan pizza.

Yeah.

At least it was. I haven't had that shit in years.

Get at the fucking airport and you're just like, oh, I shouldn't ate that before I got in a fucking plane.

But it's like it's cheese on, like, a pillow.

Yeah, it's super thick.

Yeah. Then there's oh, new York slice.

New York's.

Fine.

I just feel like we all just have decided and they didn't earn the title because New York has just the PR machine of the whole world.

That is fucking true.

I know, I just feel like no one ever decided other than New Yorkers that New York pizza is the gold standard.

I think New York has, like, a deep state organization that's like a pizza propaganda unit. Of the government. Of the state government.

Yeah, I do.

Or the city government, probably.

City government.

City.

But it's the same.

Nobody's like, Albany style pizza is delicious.

Well, here's the thing. I have a couple of friends who say, and I've had it, and I might agree that New Haven, Connecticut's pizza is the best in the world and it's really fucking good, but because New York is like, hey, New York. And the fucking thing with the bagels.

Oh, they don't have the right shut.

The Brooklyn up with the water. Bagels are bagels. They're fucking fine wherever you go, asshole. Fucks.

I will say that New Haven, Connecticut sounds like a made up place.

It's a real place.

I think Yale is there.

Yale sound like a real place. Yale doesn't sound like they had good fucking pizza. I will say Yale the college where you can join. That's where Skull and Bones is right. And you have to jerk off into a coffin or some shit right after.

You eat some of their pizza.

Yeah, after you have a nice New Haven slice.

And I feel like New York pizza is like, pizza was just a thing, and then everyone's like, if it's a thin crust, it's New York pizza and they just stole.

That not true. I don't think that's true at all.

I think it's totally true.

No, I don't disagree that people say it, but I think that that's fucking a wrong assertion of what I think of New York style pizza.

What do you think?

I think it's just that it's thin crust. I think it's like because thin crust usually can like it's like smaller slices and can be super crunchy. I don't think of New York style pizza as very crunchy. I think it's a floppy, sloppy, but.

Like, dough around the edges. New York to me is like it flops down, so you have to fold it. It's super fucking greasy. It's got dough around the edges, not like a Tombstone pizza or Chicago Tavern style pizza, which the cheese goes to the edge and it's overrated as fuck.

That's me as New York pizza.

You know, I would say that Little Caesars is a New York style pizza.

Yeah, maybe.

And when you are smashed at one in the morning oh, yeah. And you have just enough money for a pack of cigarettes and a hot and ready pizza, who. Boy, does little Caesars hit that spot.

Yeah, I'm $5. Fucking $5 for a large pizza?

Are you shitting me?

Every day? I think it's $7 now. Fucking inflation.

Inflation will kill you.

Thanks, Obama.

Totally Obama.

Yeah.

Okay, so New York style. What's the next one?

Let's rate the next next one is Chicago style. Just looking at it it looks like someone delicious. Put lasagna in, like, a cheese crust. Do they ever do graham cracker dough?

Why?

In Chicago style pizza? No, that's what it looks like. Cheesecake?

No, they do cornmeal dough. And it's fucking delicious. It's fucking delicious.

It's just so much sauce, so flaky, and I don't think the sauce should be over the cheese. I think that's wrong.

Tell it to the Italians from Chicago.

Not even real Italians.

Of course they are.

What the fuck are you talking not real Italians? They're Italians like this.

They're.

It's Soprano style. Italian.

Oh, don't even fucking come close.

Macaroni and gravy.

At least we don't make up fucking words for Italian shit. Gabagul, GABA, gould, menagut. All this fucking bullshit. Mispronunciation of a language, and they act like it's. Right. That that's how you're supposed to say these words.

That's true. Italians from Chicago barely have a grasp on English. They're not to the point where they're making up Italian.

They just speak Italian. Yeah.

Fuck it. Number one.

What do you got?

Neapolitan pizza.

Oh, from Italy. I'm sure it's great.

Okay.

Nice list. Buzfeed or whoever.

Yeah.

This is from Websteraunt store. That's bullshit.

You can't test this fucking thing. So they said number two was Chicago?

Yeah.

I feel like even I'll say this list is suspect.

Yeah, it is.

Sus.

Okay, so now I'm on first we feast.

Okay. First.

We feast. First we have experience with first we feast.

We have to recuse ourselves from this because we have worked for this company.

Yeah, they don't seem to have ranked it, but they have a taxonomy of pizza styles in America. They have the New York slice, the Neapolitan, the Neo Neapolitan, which is fucking that's a postmodernist for fucking pizza.

Get out of here. Hate it.

Get out of here. Tomato pie? The fuck is tomato pie?

There was a place called Tomato Pie in La. That was right by my apartment for a long time.

It's a philly thing.

It is.

It's weird.

It's just sauce. Good.

And then just like, sprinkled Parmesan cheese on the top. It's fucking weird. It's not great.

Oh, here we go. New Haven.

There it is.

Assisted by oil or coal fueled oven. New Haven bringing jobs back. Bringing the coal miners jobs back to make this goddamn pizza. That's right. Ovens reaching temperatures topping 600 degrees. New Haven style. A pizza.

Yes.

A beets is how locals pronounce it, I guess. Delivers a charred crust reminiscent of a backyard grill. The typically miss shaven pies are lightly topped with ingredients such as tomatoes, cheese, and sometimes clams. That sounds fucking disgusting.

Yeah, that does.

Delivered on wax covered sheet pans that offer a rewarding crunchy and chewy texture. Chewy is not something I fucking want from pizza.

No. Then you so I'm going to assume.

That this fucking website just sucks.

I can attest and I have heard plenty. New Haven, they got the goods.

I feel like I believe that more than I believe, whatever the fuck this description was. Then there's Sicilian style pizza, which they say Grandma style.

Okay.

Yeah, I've heard grandma style. That's right.

Then there's deep dish, the old Chicago.

Yeah.

Then there's stuffed.

What do they got?

The not to be confused with deep dish pizza. Stuffed pizza sports a thin crowning layer of pizza dough used to seal all of the this is a fucking pot pie.

Yeah.

Masquerading as a pizza.

I've had this.

Yeah.

I've had this pizza.

Yeah.

Detroit style.

It's greased pan. And something about the this picture they.

Use for St. Louis style is horrific.

Of course, because it's St. Louis style. It's fucking vile.

Yeah.

California, of course, is a barbecue chicken pizza. Ohio Valley looks like a lunchable pizza.

That might be what we have.

We have a bunch in the Ohio Valley region. Listen, this is fucking hilarious. Which includes Ohio. Indiana.

Yeah, I know.

Illinois, west Virginia, pennsylvania. Kentucky. Toppings are added to square pies after the dough exits the oven. The theory being that heat from the crust will cook the toppings. This looks fucking atrocious.

Yeah.

I'd have never had that here or in Illinois.

This looks like a lunchable.

Yeah. That's disgusting. Yeah.

Get out of here. Then there's bar, tavern style.

Okay.

Tavern style.

That's correct.

Grilled. Grilled. Just looks like a fuck out of here with just a bunch of shit on some non bread pita pan. That's the Pizza Hut stuff. Montanara.

The fuck is Montenera?

Looks just like a pizza vesuvio.

Okay. Fucking sopranos.

I know, right? This is the neapolitan version of a stuffed pizza. They put two crusts on top of each other, filling this in the interior with ingredients such as mozzarella, tomatoes, and AMA. Shrooms. That's just like a full circle calzone.

Yeah. Right?

Pretty much.

Now.

There's Old Forge. According to residents, Old Forge, Pennsylvania, is the pizza capital of the world. Prison for these people.

Yes.

And this pizza looks like enchiladas. Looks fucking gross.

Yeah.

Baking Sicilian style pizza and trays vernacular requires full pies be called trays and slices cut. The sauce is heavy with onions, and the cheese. A choice ranges from mozzarella to cheddar to mozzarella. Okay. Brilliant writing here. Someone getting editor.

Well done.

And Parmigian. Parmesan pizza strips, a specialty of Rhode Island. Yet another mark against that state.

Oh, my God. Strips.

Bakery bread that's topped with tomato sauce and cut into strips. That's not a pizza.

That's a fucking fried dough. Yeah. I wouldn't even get into the fried dough in New England.

Yeah. Some people Greek greek pizza is great. Basically Greek salad ingredients on top of a regular pizza.

Great.

Cool.

Really?

A style.

Yeah.

Quad City.

Oh.

Is this Minnesota?

Popular in the Quad Cities. Rock Island, Moline, Illinois in Illinois and Bettendorf and Davenport in Iowa. The pizza dough gets a heavy dose of brewers mall, giving it a nutty, sweet taste and darker appearance. The sauce is thin and spicy. The signature lean pork sausage is heavy on fennel and spices, and the pizza is cut into strips using giant razor sharp scissors.

Sure.

Scissors. Yeah. Let's use scissors on the pizza.

Then there's Colorado Mountain pie.

I've heard about this. Thick as fuck, right?

Yeah. It looks like what's that? Braided bread?

Yeah, sure.

Let's call it chala. That's what the crust looks like, but they're listed by weight. Jesus Christ.

Get it together.

DC Jumbo. That's just where they instead of cutting pizzas into slices, like, they just cut a whole pizza into one slice.

That's nothing. That's stupid.

Briar Hill.

Okay.

This style began in 1974 as a front fundraising project for St. Anthony's Catholic Church in Youngstown is a pedophile pie. It's a pervert pie.

There you go. Oh, this is the kind they have.

At, like, the church service. They're like, oh, come on, have a slice. Have a little communion wine.

Yeah, there you go. Come on back in the backward the fuck?

Yeah. The Bible doesn't say nothing about keeping secrets from your parents.

What?

Oh, forget about it.

Youngstown, Ohio. I bet it would take 30 seconds of fucking googling to find a pedophile priest from Youngstown.

It would take no seconds.

Yeah. Yes.

0 second. My phone is currently serving me, is listening into this conversation and is about to fill my Facebook ads with the Youngstown pedophile pre. Youngstown, Ohio. Well, I guess there's more pizza than we thought.

There is quite a bit more. A lot of it sounds like bullshit to me, though.

Yeah, a lot of it does sound like bullshit.

Yeah.

But I guess maybe a little. The Chicago style deserves a reconsideration.

Try it again. Try it again.

Give it a fucking day in court.

Do you remember Two Boots Pizza?

No.

Echo park?

No.

It was Louisiana style pizza. And the two Boots is louisiana looks like a boot and Italy looks like a boot.

Oh, see, that's a cute name. I don't know how the pizza was, but it's a cute name.

They were open super late. They were right next to the Echo plex. So you come out of a concert, 1130 go get yourself a slice of cajun, like poboy pizza.

Oh, weird.

Get, like, some charred shrimp on it. I wasn't bad.

Okay.

And it was all cornmeal crust.

See? Cornmeal. Just like Chicago style. Yeah. No joke. Shit's. No joke.

Yeah. So that was pizza.

Pizza talk.

Pizza talk with segment, discrete air. Guys, have you been playing any games this week?

Diablo. I redid my build on my druid. I had to do it. I had to consult the internet because I was struggling. I was struggling with my build. And so I respect and a big change. I went back to a couple of dungeons that I just literally gave up on and completed them first.

Try both.

So I'm feeling good about that. I haven't finished that quest that you're supposed to do. At level I'm like level 23. But that level 15 quest where you're supposed to get the fucking offerings to the spirit animal.

Shit.

I'm going to do that next. But I keep getting pulled away for fucking side quests, but still loving the game. Just fucking adore that game.

It's so fun. It is the best. It is. It's the bomb.

I'm still also playing Diablo, but having a lot of fun with it.

Yeah, it's awesome. It's just awesome.

Have you been watching anything?

We're going to start black mirror tonight. I don't know how it is. I'm sure it's probably still dog shit because it's American now. So that's dog shit.

I'll take shows I don't give a fuck about for 500.

I like the British ones a lot. It's just as soon as the American ones aired, it just, like, turned into fucking crap. We finished that katie kulo kaylee cuco.

Whatever.

That show, whatever.

Fuckliano cubliana.

Just dog shit. Fucking awful ending. Just fell apart. Just fucking fell apart. Other than that, no. I feel like there's nothing on right now. It's weird because feel like everything was on for weeks and months, and now it's just like, it's summer.

Go fuck yourselves.

Go outside. Touch some grass.

Exactly.

I finished shrinking.

Okay. Which I really liked. Okay.

Even though I sometimes think Jason Siegel is, like, insufferable.

Yeah, I do, too.

Harrison Ford's actually really good in it. This may be a hot take, but I don't actually think he's that good of an actor.

I think he's good at playing Harrison Ford characters.

Yeah. He was as good at acting as he is at crashing planes. He'd have ten Oscars to golf courses.

Yeah.

I'm still watching Platonic as it airs.

Sure.

Which I like. I think it's fun. Nothing super special. Did we talk about the Arnold doc last week?

We did, yeah. Getting hyped for anything. Is anything on the horizon to get hyped about?

No, not really.

I know not really.

I mean, Twisted Metal Rider Strike.

Is really doing a number on the content, which is good.

It is good. Yeah.

Fuck the studios. The official stance of the Discrete Air podcast oh, yeah. Is we stand with WGA.

Of course we do.

Stick it to the man. Fuck the studios.

Yeah.

Fuck them for destroying for their and fuck the Silicon Valley disruptors of Netflix and all that shit. For taking, what, almost 100 years of 50 years, whatever. Of a profitable business model and destroying it for no fucking reason and ruining the industry completely that was churning along just fucking fine. Until they're like, hey, let's spend trillions of fucking dollars on shit and figure out how to pay for it later and make everyone else do the same.

Fuck that.

You know what I love is I love watching the people on Twitter who are like, look at this beautiful art that AI made. And then it's just like the most dumb shit you've ever seen and their.

Hands and face are completely fucking deformed. I love it.

I love it.

Yeah.

And my favorite thing about AI is the I call it the multiplicity problem, based on that shitty Michael Keaton movie they did, like that legendary Michael legendary. Sorry. Where it was like, well, if you.

Copy a copy, it turns out iffy.

Let'S use that word, kind of brain damage, whatever. And they're saying now that, yes, this Chat GPT, quote, unquote, AI. Is great if it has human stuff to draw from, but if it only has itself to draw from, it can't do it anymore. So their plan of completely replacing people is garbage now. It's not going to fucking work because.

Stealing all it is is heroding copyright.

Yeah.

All these people are all pissy about like china not giving a shit about our intellectual property laws. And then they're like, but look at this thing that does it way worse than China.

Yeah, exactly.

I've used Chat GPT and it'll be like, oh, give me a recipe for this, but don't include fucking strawberries because I'm allergic. And then it just gives me a recipe that's just all strawberries.

All strawberries.

Yeah.

It doesn't it's not the miracle. It is perfect for finding the best case scenario that you got after 150 prompts and posting on Twitter and going, oh, my God, look what this can do. And you don't show the 149 that are just fucking horrific.

Yeah. All the things you had to refine to get yeah, exactly.

It's fucking garbage.

The AI bubble. I can't wait for that to burst. Just like the fucking NFT bubble.

Well, I'm going to do an experiment and we can talk about it next week on the weekly update about how it turns out. I'm going to try to use Chat GPT for something to make my life easier in some way every single day.

Okay.

I like this.

I like this little plan.

And we'll see if it's just dog shit or actually usable and helpful.

I am sure it will be dog shit, but I'm excited for that dog shit.

Me too. Well, thank you for listening to another weekly update.

Yeah.

Subscribe smash like button. Engage with our shit. Follow us on social media. You can find us on Instagram at Discrete AirPod or me at funeral. Casual games.

I'm at Ian Golden Games.

And check us out every PS Tuesday, where we shit on games. We salivate over games that most people universally think are bad. We have bad opinions. We have good opinions. Who knows?

We've got it all.

Yeah.

Check us out. See you next time.