Weekly Update for Week of 6/16/23

She's got dumps like a truck, truck, truck guys like what? What? Living the Vidaloka.

Fuck yeah.

Welcome back to discrete air. It's it's the week of June 16.

Indeed it is.

And we are living lavita loca something, having just watched that clip from Twisted Metal. Holy shit.

Holy shit is right.

That's trash.

That's just fucking trash.

Just when you thought it was safe to watch video game shows.

Oh, my God, dude.

Hot damn. What a fucking mess.

I literally don't even know I know what they're going for, but I don't know how they thought that they got there. It was so bad.

So fucking bad.

Joss Whedon really fucking damaged everyone's brains.

Go on.

In the beginning of the whole Marvel thing, where it was like everything's like a pop culture reference and like a goofy joke.

Yeah.

And just all of Hollywood was like, fuck, he's right.

Yeah.

And they should have taken the hint when the Snyder verse when Joss Whedon took over directing Justice League and it was hot garbage.

Yeah.

I mean, it would have been hot garbage either way.

But I mean, Jesus.

Yeah. Who is this for? It feels specifically gauged towards people my age.

Yeah, of course.

And I'm not only insulted by it, but also nobody wants that.

No.

Thong Song was huge when I was in elementary school, and so was Twisted Metal. And it's like, oh, they know that I'm an adult now, and I watch prestige television. And it's so pandering and low effort and lazy that it's just so poorly written, too.

It's just so like the dialogue is just so it's both trying too hard, and no effort was put into it at all.

Yeah.

It looks like shit. Like they craigslisted. A casino set.

Yeah.

Looks like ass. The acting is bad. Will Arnett. Why hire this wrestler dude? It's not like he has a crazy physique. I guess he's got a sweet tooth physique, I guess. Why not hire someone with a sweet tooth physique that can actually do the voice, too.

Yeah, exactly.

It's just a whole lot of nonsense. Is it? Because another show that was big when I was in middle school was Arrested Development. And you think you're going to fucking catch me with Will Arnett?

Yeah, I guess. Listen, that's not awful. Will Arnett doing? The voice of Sweet Tooth, I guess. But like, oh, man, just give him something to fucking do to work.

This whole thing was created by a fucking algorithm. This is a chat GPT ass show for sure.

For fucking sure.

And I'm not here for it.

Oh, I'm going to watch.

We will be watching and reviewing.

We will be hate watching the shit.

Out of their show, there's no question.

But these are the kind of takes you can expect because there is no way that when it comes out, it will be surprisingly good.

No. Based on that clip that's the clip they put out. That's their foot forward.

No fucking way.

Garbage. Just fucking trash.

Ass shit's ass buddy. Yeah.

I'm not dump.

I mean, I'm looking forward to watching it and experiencing how bad it can be, but I'm just like, I have no hope. I have zero hope that I mean, dead after one season. No one's going to fucking want this.

Yeah.

So I finally watched the finale of Ted Lasso.

Okay.

Wasn't very good.

No, it was terrible.

Like, what in the world was that?

It doesn't make sense.

I feel like enough time has passed so we can talk about it up. Yeah. He comes home to his ex wife's house.

Yeah.

Is the implication that the therapist who wasn't into soccer because he wasn't into soccer, she left him?

I think so.

I think so.

I think it's got to be right.

Really?

That was the final straw, because it was shitty about a shitty sport.

Like, whatever.

Yeah.

And.

It doesn't feel like it earned it. When Roy Kent does the whole I want to be a diamond Dog.

Yeah.

It's almost like you were just like it was checklisting everything from the series. It was like, yeah, got to do this. We got to do this. We got to do this.

He's got to do the running man on the field.

Of course.

Yeah.

He's got to do that. We got to have the old that guy's got to be back. The guy from the fucking pilot who took a selfie on the plane. He's got to be back for some reason.

Fucking no. Yeah.

And Beard gets all the way on the plane and is like, I don't want to go.

It's like, why have that conversation the day before you knew?

Yeah. And also, Ted's not at this weird montage of the future thing they did at the end. Doesn't make sense.

No.

Why isn't Ted at Beard's wedding? Did he get married on the plane while he was transatlantic?

I read a thing from one of the creators who said it was intentional because they thought it would be weird that Ted was flying home. But then you see him at Stonehenge. It didn't work out or something.

This is weirder than that.

Well, not putting him there made everyone think it was a fucking dream sequence.

Like, a lot of people thought it.

Was a dream sequence because he literally wakes up after that shot, and you're like, oh, so it was a dream. And it was like but he didn't meet half the people in that. It was just a fucking bizarre, bizarre.

I think the show would have gone down legendary status if Ted's plane crashed.

Yeah, there you go.

Like, disappeared. Like, Malaysian flight. Whatever.

Do it. Do it. Like, mash. Like, they're doing soccer practice, and fucking Nate comes in, like radar and be like, so and so's plane crashed, and there are no survivors. And then we just you know, it's just quiet as we fucking put up the credits, and it's fucking great.

Yeah.

Or better idea, do it like Lost and his plane actually crashed on the way to London in the first season, and this was all like a death dream.

He's in fucking purgatory and there's a dog licking his face.

Yes. So he's dead. Ted's been dead the whole time. That's why everyone is like a caricature of a British person, is because he's made them up in his mind.

Right.

Or we could do the same elsewhere thing where it's all the whole thing was a snow globe and an autistic child brain exercise. And we just cut to him on the floor, and he takes the Ted Lasso Richmond.

Bill Lawrence. It's Bill Lawrence in an adult diaper playing with a Ted Lasso snowblow.

He just puts it up on the thing with all of his scrubs next to the scrubs. They're all a little autistic child's dream. So beautiful.

Yeah. When this rider strike is up, Hollywood, call us.

Yeah, we got it.

We got you fucking we got the fucking ideas.

Yeah, buddy.

You don't need AI when you got ideas like this.

Hell, yeah.

It was some trash.

It was some fucking trash.

It was some doodoo. You know what was not doodoo? That new Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary.

I have not watched that on Netflix.

It's pretty good.

No, I haven't watched it.

I probably will watch it.

It's a three episode thing. It's like three 1 hour episodes. The first one is about him as an athlete. The second one is him about him as a movie star. And then the third one's about him as a politician.

Okay.

I think they're all very good, but I think the politician one might be the most interesting.

Oh, wow.

Because you think they wouldn't go there. Also interesting to note, he is not an executive producer on the Dock.

Okay.

You think that they might not go some places like, hey, Arnold, you want to talk about your illegitimate bastard son that ended your 25 year marriage?

Wow.

They go there, but they go there.

That's incredible.

Okay, I might watch it. I didn't know that would be in there.

He also talks about his fuck ups as governor.

Okay.

And he's, like, crazy honest in this.

Thing, which is wild.

But I enjoyed it a lot as a fan of Arnold.

Sure.

You got to be fan.

Does he talk about when Andre the Giant picked him up and put him in a window sill so that Andre could pay the check instead of him?

No, that's not in there.

No. But Danny DeVito tells a story about how the first time he met Arnold Schwarzenegger, it's after he agreed to do twins and he was getting out of a cab in New York City and someone grabbed his luggage and he was like, Whoa. And behind him, it was Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Okay.

First time they met.

That's fun. I like that.

Yeah, good for them. Yeah.

And he makes a joke about how he got on the set of Terminator Two and he was pissed because he's like, fuck, Linda Hamilton's more ripped than I am.

Oh, awesome.

Yeah, that's great.

Yeah, it's pretty good. I rewatched Last Action Hero because of it.

Wow, that's dedication.

That's a fucking dog of a movie.

I don't know. I loved it as a kid. So I think I might have some nostalgia. Goggles for it. But who's the guy that plays the slasher, the cutter, the reaper? He's the guy who plays the killer in Manhunter.

Okay.

It is quite a performance in both movies.

Ridiculous.

But I don't know. It's a goofy movie.

But it's really goofy.

I don't know.

I kind of liked it.

I might revisit, but I might not.

Because I remember being a dog when.

I saw it's a little bit. It's a satire of action movies.

But it didn't go I got to watch it again before I speak too much on. I just remember feeling like it was.

Like trying to act like it was.

A satire with it was just.

It'S a satire. But then it all of a sudden is like very serious.

Right, exactly.

But Danny DeVito as an animated cat detective. I'd like to see that spin off.

Yeah, I'll watch that.

That I'd watch every day. Fuck it.

Oh, hell yeah.

Bite on DVD. I get the fucking so they can't take my streamers away.

Yeah, absolutely.

Fuck yeah.

Okay. Favorite Arnold movie.

Go. Oh, you know what?

I'm going. Total recall. I like Total Recall the most. Give the people give these cohanging. Yeah, it's right in that kind of that zone of like too many one liners. But he's still like paul Verhoven would not have fucking cast him if it wasn't like the only way to get the movie made.

Absolutely. And triple titties.

Yeah, exactly. Triple titties. All the Verhoven craziness is in there. But it's an Arnold movie where he gets to do fucking one liners and shit.

So I like that combo.

I'm going to say mine is Predator.

Predator is great. Predator is fucking great.

You son of a bitch.

You son of a bitch.

I love that part because it's just literally like an excuse to get that fucking bicep shot.

Yeah.

Just boom. Just flexing as hard as he fucking can.

Both of them just like trying to over flex each other. It's fucking genius.

I love it.

Yeah, it's fucking great. That's good shit right there. That's the good stuff.

Well, you've been watching anything else?

What have we been watching?

I watched it was just me because Vanessa was working.

I watched what is it called?

I watched the documentary. Bama rush. It's about sorority rushing in the University of Alabama.

It is bonkers, this fucking documentary here's. Why.

So it starts off and we're like, learning. First of all, the thing I got to start with is so bad. And there's a million reasons why it's so bad. So we meet all these girls, and they're talking about what being in a sorority means to them.

And then out of fucking nowhere, the.

Director puts herself on camera, and she's.

Like, I have Alopecia, and I'm kind.

Of rushing in life. And she just keeps popping up, talking about herself. And there's this moment where she puts a wig on. She hasn't worn a wig in 20 years. And you're like, what is fucking happening in this fucking documentary that she just inserts herself into this fucking story? And you're like, what the living shit.

Is going on with this thing?

It's so bad. But hilarious because it's just so like yeah, it's not. There's a time and place, ma'am. And I don't know how whoever financed this thing lets you get away with.

This, but it's real, real stupid. That sounds awesome.

I need to watch this immediately. Yeah, you should have called it rushing life.

Rushing life because she's rushing life.

Yeah, she's rushing life.

Oh, my God. And the whole thing is about there's all these ceremonies and this promise of.

Getting behind the scenes.

We see none. I think the documentary ends before any of that even starts.

And, like, half the cast quits because.

They don't want to be doing it. Because word gets out that a documentary is being filmed and everyone loses their shit.

It's fucking hilarious. Hell, yeah.

It's real, real bad.

What else are we watching?

I don't think oh, what's it called? The fucking Katie KUCO podcast. Murder Show based on a true story. We're watching that. It's funny.

Sounds dumb as fuck. It's real dumb because listen, I've been.

A part of, like, six or seven.

Podcasts at this point the way.

I know that I'm sure that fucking carpenters who watch shows about fucking sitcoms about people who work as carpenters get mad. But you're like, none of it fucking works that way. It just doesn't. No one's like the spotify deal for 20 million because we had one good episode.

It's like, wait, what?

It's just stupid.

Did you watch remember that show Unreal?

I did not.

It was a show about, like, a reality TV producer.

Okay.

I remember watching the pilot for that, and I was like, damn, I know some EPS like that.

Okay.

It was probably someone who either consulted with reality people or worked in it.

Themselves, if they had it.

Right.

Well, what I had heard is that it was actually based on someone at a certain company.

Okay. I like that.

Yeah. Which is Chef's kiss.

Yeah, you got to do that.

What have you been playing lately? I'm still on Diablo, but I did take a break. And you know what I played?

What was that?

I beat Kirby's dreamland two on my Game Boy.

Bam.

In one go. In like one two hour go.

Okay. Did it hold up?

Is the first time you've beaten it.

Or no, I've beaten it a couple of times. Hold up. Still feeling of hell yeah.

Hell yeah.

I didn't want to play it on like, switch or anything.

No, of course. So I was like original hardware.

I have that modded. Kirby game boy.

Hell yeah.

So I played it on that.

Bad boy.

Did it in 2 hours.

Yeah, like two ish. I think. That's not bad. 220 now straight through.

Just sitting there on a fucking afternoon. Just like I'll do this in 2 hours while I'm watching goddamn Arnold doc.

Yeah, a few months ago, I did Kirby Dreamline One and did that in.

Like a fucking hour and a half.

Is this Game Boy color, you say?

No, he's a regular Game Boy.

G-O-G-O-G. Game boy. Okay.

OG.

Game Boy. Yeah, those are short ones. I like that about that as a kid that there's like well, I didn't because I was like I spent $29 on this and fucking played it for.

2 hours at Babbages or some other fucking store that doesn't exist anymore.

Yeah. Electronics boutique.

Yeah, all those I've been playing a little more Diablo. Not enough to really talk about it. But I did want to bring up something that I've been playing that I cannot recommend to you and to the audience enough. It is a doom mod map.

It's a doom map. MyHouse WAB it is a work of fucking art.

Starts off like doom. You're playing doom. It's just first of all, I got to tell you, there's lore behind this. And the lore, before you even download it, you just look it up on the Internet as like, hey, a kid I grew up with, a really good friend of mine just died. And his parents were going through his stuff and found this 3.5 inch floppy with a bunch of stuff. And we used to make doom maps when we were kids. And I found one called my house, and I'm uploading it as a tribute. So that's the background lore. It starts off it's this kid's house. And then I'm going to tell you.

Do you remember PT? Yeah, it Pts. It it's fucking bonkers.

This thing is incredible. The shit that happens. I do not want to go too far into it. I don't want to spoil anything. All you have to do is to download a free Doom emulator or GD zoom, whatever, and two files, and you can play it immediately. It plays great on my computer, and.

I probably spent 3 hours on it.

There are multiple endings, I'll tell you that, of a fucking doom map. There are multiple endings.

That reminds me of like it was like the cool thing, the edgy thing to do in the early 2000s was to download from LimeWire the Dylan Kerbel, the Columbine shooter. Guys, doom maps.

Very right. They're doomaps. This is not that. This is a lot of fucking work. Went a lot of work, a lot of thought, and a lot of creativity went to this. And I cannot recommend MyHouse WA d enough. It is so much fucking fun. It's probably like Kirby's dream World 2 hours. You probably can get two or three.

Endings on that.

And then you can jump on the Internet and look up how to get the other endings, because there are ridiculous things you have to do sometimes to get to I thought.

It was going to be a troll thing. Like, you download it and then the regular Doom screen pops up. Then it's just the music video for AW house in the middle of the street.

No, I would be surprised if they did it. I'll give you one little thing that they do. There's a mirror world that you can get into where you literally walk through a bathroom mirror, and obviously everything like Dark Souls, everything is reversed, including all the visuals, sound effects and music play backwards.

Oh, my God.

At first, you're like, what's going on? Literally, even gunshots. Everything is reversed. It's fucking incredible. That's just a little example of the care that this person who ever made.

This map put into it. And I just cannot recommend it enough. Hell yeah.

Well, I will definitely check that out in between playing the game for next week, which we're not going to ruin on this.

No, certainly not.

But make sure you check it out.

Please do.

Make sure you download the Pod. Make sure you like it. Make sure you engage in our polls. Make sure you hit us up on Instagram at discrete error. Pod. Or you can just hit me up and yell at me at funeral casual games.

If you want to yell at me at Ian Golding games on Instagram, please yell at him. Yell at me about this shit. I'm sensitive. Yeah, don't do it.

Yeah, I cried during the ted laughter.

No, you did not.

Cried laughing. Got him.

Got him.

Zing.

Boom.

Yeah, we'll see you next time. Bye.