Weekly Update for Week of 7/21/23

What's this? Oh, there's a message in the bottle.

What does the message say?

Oh, it says, here is the weekly update for the week of July 21, 2023.

So specific.

That's crazy.

That's cray cray.

That's wild. But here we are with the Motherfucking weekly update.

How's it going?

It's going really well.

How are you?

Living the dream.

Yeah. Hell yeah.

Hell yeah. I got my workbench area in my garage in the new house. I got it all, getting it all dialed in. It's a nice little creative workbench.

For the podcast factory?

No, for other shit, like my RC cars, my fucking electronics. I'm doing some homemade animatronics for Halloween this year. Really show these fucking people a thing.

Or two about a thing or two.

That's fancy.

Sure.

So I got my little what you call it, arduino boards. Got my soldering guns. I got all I fucking need, bro.

Yeah, that sounds fair.

You're going to fucking show these Midwestern fucking losers what the deal?

Is that's what I'm thinking? That is what I'm thinking.

Hell yes, sir. So I don't know if you saw the IGN review, but they gave Pikmin Four a nine out of ten.

Yeah, I've heard incredible things about Pikmin Four.

I'm pretty stoked when's that hit. It's coming out today.

It is coming out today.

It's coming out. It's out today.

People are probably playing it, listening to fucking Weekly Update.

That's what you're that's true. I got to go pick my copy up today. Definitely today.

You know what you could listen to while you're standing in line?

Discrete air podcast. This right now.

Right now you could be live. This is live walking because everyone goes to the store to get the game still, right?

That's still a thing.

Yeah. It's funny because I did the midnight wink wink release. They do give the games away at nine.

Yeah.

But I went for the midnight release of Harry Potter. Hogwarts.

Jesus.

Yeah. Dick bumps legacy.

Jesus.

And there was like, nobody there. It was like, me and like, three other people.

I remember those call of duties, man I think it was black ops. I was in line at the GameStop on Brea, and it was like from the GameStop all the way, it wasn't as bad as, like, the Black Friday lines, but it was to the target stairs. It was fucking like there was dudes running around handing out T shirts. People were fucking yelling jokes. People were singing songs. It was a fucking event, dude.

I went for tears of the kingdom. And it was packed.

Really? Okay, so that was so that's still a thing.

Okay.

But most of the games, they don't even do midnight releases anymore. It has to be pretty anticipated. Like, Diablo Four didn't have one. I remember going for the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto Four.

Fuck.

And that line was no joke. Like a quarter of a mile long. It was fucking wild. I remember I went to and that was at a game. Crazy Hollywood video.

Okay. Yeah, not bad. I used to go to this is not for video games, but I used to go to Midnight Drops at the Tower Records in Boston when I was going to school out there. Every Monday, Tuesday.

Boston. Because of course, you went to Harvard.

Yeah, of course. Harvard, man.

Over here.

My Harvard tie. And it was every Monday night, tuesday would go online and whatever was coming out. And they'd have the little sections of what you could buy anything. But there was, like a little section of what gets released. I remember the best thing was, oh, fuck, I wish I remember what it was. But one of my buddies and I were like, we're getting like a Metallic fucking CD or box set or something.

And this guy like guy st. Anger.

Yeah, no, it was before that. I think it was like the live one. And my friend picked up the CD. I forget who it was. He goes, oh, blah, blah, blah. Who's buying that? And then he looks over and there's a dude holding one of the CDs, like turning around like he's intending to buy it. And then he just slowly puts it down. Backs. Damn.

Well, now, listener, you may feel bad for this man who put the CD back, but he's a fucking loser who let some stranger influence his decision.

I think it was like Michael Bolton or something. It was know you're not midnight releasing a Michael Bolton CD.

Midnight release for a Kenny G album?

It might have actually been Kenny G. I was about to say that. That sounds more right. But I don't know.

Did he ever release an album called The G Spot? If not, that is fucking a missed opportunity.

That was at least discussed. Like that was bandied about like, there's no fucking way.

Yeah.

What does he play? He plays like, an yeah.

Yeah.

So not even the cool looking saxophone. Not even the Lisa Simpson Assac.

It's the saxophone that looks like a clarinet by the it's like it's a very strange I remember we were at the Hollywood Bowl, me, my wife and a buddy of ours, and we were I forget what was going, but we were like, who is the sexiest what's the sexiest sax song? And I was always like, the guy Careless Whisper.

Careless Whisper.

That's right. But she was like, Kenny G. And we're like, he plays the clarinet. And then we looked it up and she owned us. She's like, what does it say? Alto sack. Sorry. We're like, God damn it.

Got him.

I feel like in the 90s, it was like, okay, you make fun of Kenny G. You make fun of Dom Delaweez for being fat and sweaty.

I mean, sure. I don't remember making fun of Dom Delaoise particularly.

And you make fun of Carrot Top.

Yes.

Because he sucks.

Yeah.

And maybe shore.

Polly shore before. If we got to do three, I'm going to pull Dom Delawares off there. Maybe you make fun of Peter Delawares, his kid.

I do say I'm sweating like Dom Delawares a lot, though.

Yeah.

What about those fucking bloopers at the end of the Smokey? No, the Cannonball Run movies where after every take, burt Reynolds smacks him in the face because he's laughing to supposedly that was funny when we watched it back then, but now you're like, dude, that's like a violent fucking friendship. That's based on I don't even know what.

There's that video of Rip torn fighting.

Is it Norman Mailer?

I have no idea.

And he has, like, a hammer.

What? I got to see this.

I got to look this up. Norman Mailer hammer. Rip torn of men in black fame.

Sure. Larry Sanders show fame.

Okay, so the movie is called Maidstone 1970. And there's a fight between Norman Mailer and Riptorn. And it was real. And Riptorn was pissed off at Norman Mailer's direction and attacked him with a hammer. And Norman Mailer bit riptorn's ear during the fight. And bloodshed. The bloodshed is real.

That's real. Fucking Hollywood, dude. Fuck all this shit.

Yeah, fuck all this streaming shit. Back in the day, they made real art where if you got mad, you just hit your director with a hammer.

Attack him.

Just fucking attack him with a that's that Ryan Gosling in drive. That's a throwback to ripler, attacking Norman Mailer. Fucking with the hammer.

Beautiful. So.

Yeah. Watch maidstone. I'm sure it's on Criterion Collection or.

Something at this point. Yeah.

You know what I just saw that they're releasing on Criterion Collection.

What's that?

The others with Nicole Kidman.

Oh, boy. Where's my daughter? I am your daughter.

That movie is actually pretty good. That movie's aged pretty well.

It's a good movie. Sorry audience spoilers. But it has the exact same twist as fucking $0.06. It only came out, like, a year.

And a half later, so it always.

Felt like they were like, hey, we should do that. But with Nicole Kidman.

Did $0.06 come out first?

Oh, yeah.

Six cents is like 99. And that was, like, two.

Okay.

The Others is 2001, directed by Alejandro I can't say that Amenabar.

He did a great job.

Yeah. Alejandro.

He's a Chilean director.

Sure.

He has won nine goyas.

What is it? An award sponsored by the Food by the Beans. Ever had Maltagoya? No.

Is that the soda?

Yeah.

It tastes like bubblegum. It's the champagne soda.

It tastes like liquid bread.

Dude.

It's like drinking bread.

It's amazingly weird. Yeah.

No, it looks like this is like the Spanish, like Oscars.

Yeah, but maybe brought to you by Goya. Maybe not.

Yeah, it doesn't look like it. I think that's just what they call it. I'm trying to see if he directed anything else I've fucking seen. He mainly did Spanish language films.

Sure.

The Others was like his one shot.

I don't think that hit, like, box office real hard.

I don't think so.

No.

Crazy. Now that Nicole kidman's doing the opening thing for AMC. Oh, my heartbreak feels good in a place like this.

That's what I'm saying.

I want to get that tattooed on my back. You should.

And people standing up and saluting her in theater.

Yeah.

It's such a good ad. It's such a good campaign.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Mainly because have you been to the movie theaters recently?

Not an AMC.

So that whole opening thing with Nicole Kidman, it's like five minutes long.

It's so long.

Yeah, it's so long. To the point where it gets to.

The point where you're I am I being fucking punk? Yeah.

Do they add time to this thing?

Yeah. And then it cuts. It cuts right after you get to.

That point where you're like and it's.

Funny too, because the last line, it's.

Like because here they are, right? Yeah.

They used the worst take.

I love when they use the worst take.

Absolutely. There is no way she did a worse take than that.

My favorite I was always wanting to do a YouTube compilation, a channel maybe, even, of why did they pick the worst take? My favorite example is fucking the fourth Indiana Jones movie when he's like, Shia's, like you're a teacher.

And he goes, part.

He why? That has got to be the I'm sure visually, Spielberg was like, the lighting is perfect and blah, blah, blah. But it is the worst fucking take possible for the line. Because he's supposed to say part time.

You know what I mean?

But he's saying part like it doesn't make any sense how he says it.

I love it.

Yeah.

I don't know if this is a bad take or this is just like bad writing or it's just something that Jaw Rule yelled and they kept it in, but in oh, my God.

Is it the first? No, I think it's got to be this.

Actually, you know what? It might be the first Fast and Furious movie. It's either the first or the second. I think it's the first Jaw Rules racing in one of the opening races. And some girls like, if you win no, win or lose, you get me. But if you win, you get both of us or some shit like that. And he loses right to Brian sure. Paul Walker's character. And he just yells, Minaj. And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck that mean. That's so weird. That's such a weird thing to yell.

When you're to he's trying to inspire himself. Like he's saying this is but he already lost.

He already lost.

That's a bad edit, then, because that's supposed to be during the race. That that's why he wants to win.

Right. I think Fast and the Furious has gone off the rails so much that people forget how unhinged it was from the fucking jump.

Agreed.

Right? Like my favorite line. And okay, so funny story. I was at the gym a couple of weeks ago, and I saw a guy with a hat that said my favorite fucking line in Fast and the Furious, which is, bullshit, asshole. Nobody likes the tuna here. Because it's the guy who doesn't like Brian. He's like, why you keep coming around here for lunch? And he's like, I like the tuna melt.

Bullshit.

Walks away. He's like, bullshit, asshole. Nobody likes the tuna here. And he had a hat that said that. And I was like, how do you get that hat? That's got to be you have to get it made, artisanal. Yeah. Handcrafted bespoke bespoke Fast and the Furious hat. It's a great line. It's a great line from a great movie.

Yes.

I also love from the first movie when the first time Brian comes over.

For dinner, toretto says you can have.

Any beer you like, as long as it's a Corota.

Corota.

Yeah. Love it.

Fucking love it.

It's so good.

I love those movies.

Sure.

And some people might be like, hey, they sent a fiero into space. And I'm like I'm here for it.

Yeah, why not? Yeah. Who the fuck cares?

That sounds awesome.

It's not completely ridiculous. Like if it's been an Mr. Two.

I mean, it's a fiero.

Makes sense. That would go into space.

A fiero. They sent Ludicrous into space with a fiero. You know these fucking nerds. They busted in their shorts when Elon Musk sent a fucking Tesla to space. Much less impressive than sending a fiero.

To space with Ludicrous at the fucking.

I'm here for a fiero in space.

Absolutely. And I also love oh, my god. It's the last one with Paul Walker.

Okay.

And the rock breaks his arm or something. And he's like in the hospital. Oh, he's got a cast. And he gets up and he says, daddy's got to go to work. Flexes the cast off.

Beautiful.

It's so good. Honestly, I don't trust people who don't like stupid action movies like that.

I completely agree with that.

How joyless must your life be to not enjoy that?

Yeah.

It's like people who don't like John Wick like, shut up.

Yeah, just shut up.

Get out of here.

My favorite fucking thing is in the movies after Paul Walker died is how it just seems like they're like, listen, Brian's not going to go on any adventures. Like, it just seems like he's not up for it anymore.

I heard in the last one, they finally say, like, oh, he died or something like that.

Yeah, I haven't watched I think so.

I haven't seen the newest one.

God.

But yeah. It is very weird how they handled.

Yeah.

Like there was one with Jordana Bruce's where that literally she shows up because she got cut out of, like, one of them. And she's like, I didn't die. Leave me.

She's gone from like a bunch of.

Was in she disappeared. And then in the one where Paul Walker died, she was in it. And then she disappeared for another one. And then she came back for another one. And that was the one where I sort of got there was a scene. She was like, I'm not bringing brian said he can't come. He's going to stay with the kids. And he said, no more adventures.

So he sent me because she's not in the second one.

She's not in fast.

Too furious.

She's not in Tokyo Drift.

She's not in Tokyo Drift. The fourth one was the reunion.

She had to be in that one.

Yeah, I think she probably was.

She might be in more of them where she's just in the last scene where they have dinner together. Because I think for every single one, ends la familia. But yeah, I don't think she has nothing to do because she was never, like, a member of the team. She was the sister who guarded the fucking base. Pretty much.

Yeah. I also love the storylines are so wild. So Michelle and I don't give a fuck if you're spoiled by this. These movies are old. Michelle Rodriguez dies in the fourth one.

Yes.

And then in the fifth one, which I think is the best one. I think the fifth one is the best one. It's the first one with the rock. They're in Brazil. At one point, Toretto says, we're in Brazil. That's a worst take.

That might be the worst.

Yeah.

Yeah. And it's just insane. And I love it. And then in the 6th one hold.

On, let's stay with the fifth one because that's the one where he uses detective vision when he goes to where Michelle Rodriguez dies. And he's, like, standing it's literally like a video game. And he hit LB left bumper. And it just becomes detective vision. And he takes a look at the motorcycle accident. And I think that's the 6th one. Is that in six?

Yeah, because she's dead. She dies in four. In the fifth one, they go to Brazil and Toretto falls in love with the smokeshow cop and gives her his obnoxiously large cross or something, which is very funny. And then in the 6th.

With, I.

Think the 6th one's, the Jason Statham one. And it turns out that he had kidnapped Michelle Rodriguez because she didn't die and brainwashed her. And she doesn't know who anyone is or amazing. It's genius. Amazing.

Yeah.

That detective vision is my favorite fucking thing that they've ever done. Because I was just like, It's so good.

I love Jason Statham.

Oh, yeah.

I liked Hobbs and Shaw. I thought it was fucking great.

He's like, oi, yeah. You killed my fucking brother.

You did. God.

And Helen Mirren is, like, in them.

All of a sudden as his dad or his mom.

No, it's like, oh, yeah. Statham's mom.

Yeah.

It's wild.

And I think the new one, Rita Moreno plays fucking vin Diesel's mom like, what the fuck is going on?

I love it. I also love that they're like, this is the last one. But it's three movies.

Yeah.

Well, I heard that this one that's amazing. Yeah, I heard this one. The newest one ends with a series of cliffhangers. Literally like an old soap opera where each person has a cliffhanger. And then they just all don't resolve. And they're like, the team will return in fast. Fucking whatever.

I also really like the OD time like manipulation they did. So the chronology of the movies are 124-45-6637, then seven, then the rest of.

Because Han dies, which is very funny.

Like basically a throwaway character from the third movie. But they were just like, we got to bring him back.

But he was so fucking good in that movie. Like, he was the breakout character.

He was so he's like sleeping with Gal. Gadot's character dies in the 6th one.

And then in that one, he's like, I think I'm going to go to Japan and check out some drift racing. That's how they explain that how he got to Japan. I'm just going to go check out.

It'S great retconning of Toretto at the end of the third one. Being like, I'm a friend of Haunts.

I was not there.

But in my head, I like to imagine that this was the plan the whole time.

No fucking way. He walked that.

They had three more movies that they had three more movies planned. That's why they put Vin Diesel at the end of Tokyo Drift. And they're like, oh, this will make sense. Three movies from now.

I can almost guarantee there is at least one person in the world who, when they saw that last shot of Tokyo Drift, stood up and applauded when they saw fucking Vincent.

100. Absolutely. Some white person. So white dude with a no Fear T shirt absolutely stood up and was like, yes.

Empty.

Family.

Well, family was like only became a thing in like six when that was the meme started.

But like well, he says it in the first movie.

He does. But it wasn't like the meme of like that's what this is all about is family.

That movie came out at a very this is now the Fast and the Furious podcast.

Fuck it.

That movie came out at like a very influential time for me. That movie came out when I was in 7th grade.

Yeah, 7th grade.

Oh, what a year. I read The Hobbit for the first time. 911 happened.

Oh, boy.

Lincoln park hybrid theory came out.

Sure.

Grand tourismo. Two was like the biggest game in the world. And Fast and Furious came out. And I fucking destroyed that DVD. You were on board so much. I was convinced. I was like, my first car is going to be a Mitsubishi Eclipse. Like the one Brian drives in the beginning.

You owe me a ten second car.

Yeah. Said ten second car. This is maybe a ten minute car. Overnight parts from Japan. Again, worst take. Every scene with that guy, worst take.

Worst take. Fucking genius.

Yeah.

Also, another worst take from that movie is toretto, you disgrace me. You disgrace my family.

Beautiful. Someone told the cops.

I think it was you.

I will admit, finally, to I think this is the first person. You're the first person. And then the audience is a lot.

More well, I have never seen the second one.

And here's the thing I have missed nothing. There is nothing in that second one that has ever mattered. Like Tokyo drift stuff matters. And every movie after that, you actually.

Need a little that's how you meet Luda and fucking and Lil Bawalao. No, Lil Bawao is in three.

Okay.

No. What's his name?

Tyrese. Okay.

I know they're in it, but he's hungry.

But nothing happens. You just meet them. But I feel like they were taken care of in four is almost like they were reintroduced. Because I feel like yeah.

All you need to know is that Tyrese was in prison.

Okay.

Well, he was on house arrest.

Okay.

And by his assistance in the second movie, that's how he got free. They expunged his criminal record, which is not a thing that people do.

No, not really.

Also, back to the first movie. How did no one red flag that their big thing in the desert is called Race Wars? Yeah.

That wouldn't play. I don't think these days, people might actually ask the question.

Yeah. Also, it's super funny that their big crime was robbing trucks for DVD players.

Yes.

The black market for DVD players was huge in 2001.

1St movie is very close to a Point Break rip off, right?

Yeah.

Kind of think about it now.

Yeah.

Because he's like yeah, except for he doesn't fire into the air because he loves Toretto so much. He's just like, you got to get out of here.

Yeah.

That last the fucking race to the train. It's so good.

It is so good.

So fucking good.

I also like when they have a Bro date and they take the cars up to Malibu or something and get the Supra. He's got the supra then. Yeah, he does the super supra.

The super supra.

Beautiful.

And the Charger does a wheelie.

Yes, it does a wheelie, which is insane.

It just has so much fucking torque that it bent the frame. Here's the thing. That's Chekhov's fucking Charger, though, because that's set up, like, early in the movie, that the thing has way too much torque and it could even bend the frame. And then we finally see it and.

It does the fucking papa wheelie. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Which one is it? That does the flashback to Toretto as a kid. I think it's the one with John Cena.

Because it's like the most recent one before the new new one.

Yeah, because John Cena is Vin Diesel's brother, John Cena. Can't you see the resemblance?

I mean, they look exactly alike to me.

They're basically the same person.

Oh, my God.

John Cena ends up not being like a total bad guy or something.

He flips over to the good guy pretty quick.

Yeah, that's the one where they shoot the fiero into space, which is Chef's Kiss.

You got to if you want us.

To do a Fast and Furious podcast where we rewatch all the Fast and the Furious movies and give in depth analysis.

We'll do like twelve episodes on each movie.

Yeah. Just a whole month for each movie.

Yeah.

Every week. Yeah.

Let us know if you want that. Because we'll do it.

We don't get we'll do it.

We're your servants.

We got nothing but time on our hands.

That's true. Oh, my God. I feel like two is the worst.

Yeah.

I've never seen it, so I can't say it, but I know it is.

Yeah, I think it's the worst because at one point Brian says, I won't talk about cuz.

Oh, I've seen that.

Like, that's pretty good. But I think also the villains, like, not very good.

We're not in La. Yeah.

They're in Miami, which is like everyone was doing a Miami movie at that.

Like, I know know Vin Diesel said he didn't want to do, but like Brian I'm sorry, paul Walker's great or.

Whatever, but he couldn't carry the movie.

He can't carry a movie.

He never because he was missing one thing.

What's that? Family.

Family.

That's right. Family.

As soon as fucking Diesel came back.

It was fucking ready to rock and roll, baby.

I think three is sneaky good because.

They have a I think three is great.

They have a concept, which is this is all about drifting. I don't think there is a scene where drifting is not seen nor mentioned. There is a scene where he's like, in a car with the love interest, and they're in the car talking, and it's like, shot, reverse shot. Shot. Reverse shot.

And she's drifting, dude.

And then they cut to a master above and they're drifting down the road. And I'm just like, hey, man, you said Tokyo Drift. That's what this is.

Hell yeah. I also loved it because the guy's name, his nickname was DK, which is my initials. Oh, shit. But it stands for Drift King.

Oh, that's the bad guy.

Drift King.

Yeah.

Final boss who is like a nepotism baby for like yeah, which is great. And the whole premise is amazing, right? It's like he got in trouble for he like races or something, right? Street racing. So he gets sent to his dad, who's like an expat in Japan for some reason and is just like, sad all the time.

And then gets into drifting.

And then he meets the only other American at the school, which is Lil Bawao, who has an Incredible Hulk Scion XB.

Hell yeah.

He does awesome. And they really go out of their way to show off it's.

It is great.

Independent of it being a Fast and Furious.

I agree with that.

I agree with that, because it's not really connected in a lot of ways, other than last shot, other than Han is great. Han's bit of always eating is in there, which is like yeah, it's so good.

It's so good. It's just so good.

It also has the best soundtrack of any of them.

I'd agree with that.

Yeah.

Three is pantheon. Little do we know, when we watched it, it was set, like, ten years in the future of when we watched it. That is some fucking and it adds up. Even though no one had a fucking smartphone or any of that shit. It doesn't matter.

Yeah. It's flip phones. Yeah. Tokyo's just back in time.

Yeah.

That's what Tokyo is known for, is being behind the curve on tech.

Yeah.

One of the goofy things about the whole Han thing is they set it up that Shaw killed Han.

Yes. Right, right.

So he did it, but then it's like he kind of faked his own death.

It is so incoherent. Yeah.

Well, they had to bring him back because he's just he's a fucking superstar. He's a fucking charismatic motherfucker.

It's just so incoherent and insane.

Love it.

And I love it. And I really want to watch Fast Five now.

Yeah, I think that's one I might watch.

I got to finish.

I started the newest one, but I didn't get too far into it. But I've got it on demand, so.

I'll pick it up. And I think the influence of these movies has reverberated through the entire industry. And I'll give you a perfect example. You know what movie is basically the same movie? Now you see me. Yes, it is basically the same movie. But the reason why it's not as revered as Fast and Furious is because cars are cooler than magic.

Of course they are.

Magic isn't cool.

Everything is cooler than magic.

Yes, cars are cooler than magic. Only nerds like magic. And I don't mean nerd in the good sense, like, people who listen to this great quality program.

Yeah.

Not that kind of nerd.

Yeah. But, like, dorks versions and just Fast and Furious, say what you want is a movie for people who fuck.

Yes, 100%.

I'll say the only thing that magic is less nerdy than is magic. The Gathering, the fucking card gather. That's it. That's the only thing. And they share a fucking first word.

Yeah.

And the prestige is great because it's not really magic. It's like science.

That's right.

Science.

Magic.

It's like science and like trickery.

Yeah.

And it's a movie about revenge.

When they show how every trick in that movie is done, they literally show every trick.

It has little respect for magic. That's why the best show about magic ever was The Masked Magician.

Fuck, yeah.

Who was just giving it all away.

Yeah, that was his thing. Yeah.

Which is great.

I love it.

You got to love that. Well, shit. That was the Fast and the Furious podcast.

Yes.

If you want us to do all the movies, we will gladly oblige.

Why not?

Yeah. Because here we're family.

Yeah, we're family.

Familiar. So, I'm going to go pop open a cold Corona, but make sure you follow us on social media Instagram. You can find us at Discrete Errorpod or you can find me at Funeral Casual Games.

I'm at Ian Golding Games.

And make sure to smash that subscribe button so you can get more quality content like this twice a motherfucking week.

You sure can.

All righty, we will see you next week. We'll see you on P. S. Tuesday. Enjoy pikmin four.

We will see you then. Bye.