S1E32 - Stuntman

Welcome back to another episode of Disk Read Error, the podcast where every week we dive into the extensive and fascinating library of the greatest selling video game console of all time. Tell them what console we're talking about.

The PlayStation Two.

PlayStation Two. I'm Derek Kicker.

And I'm Ian Golding.

And this week, we're running wild with Stuntman Room.

In the days of its infancy, the stunt performance profession was pioneered by the daring and ingenuity of acrobats and circusats, as the public's demand for onscreen, chases, crashes, jumps, smashes, and explosions is never satisfied. So the stunt performer has evolved into a highly trained professional. This is not a life for the timid. This is where men and women challenge the impossible and make it happen before your eyes.

So let's talk about stuntman. Stuntman.

Stuntman was released on June 23, 2002.

So, life cycle wise, in the PS, what is this?

Pretty early? Yeah, two years in.

Okay.

A year and a half in about sure. It was developed by Reflections Interactive.

Reflections Interactive.

Yes. Which was previously known as Reflections and is now known as Ubisoft. Reflections Limited.

For fuck's sake. Yeah.

And you'll never guess where this developer is located.

It's another British oh, for fuck's sake.

Video game developer located in Newcastle.

Okay, fair enough.

They specialized in racing games.

Okay.

And they're famous for making the Driver series. Really?

Okay. I have a lot to say about them specializing in racing games. You could have fooled me. I don't want to gild the lily too much going forward, but you could have fucking fooled me.

Well, they did do Driver, which I happen to like. The first two driver games.

I like Driver. I remember loving Driver when it came out. PlayStation One.

Yeah. And then they were acquired in 1998 by Interactive, which, of course, is a subsidiary of Atari.

Somehow still kicking around after all that.

Oh, my God. And then they were purchased by Ubisoft in 2006. They've actually done a ton of games influenced by 70s cop shows and movies. So they did the Starski and Hutch game, which is pretty good. It's not great, but it's not terrible. And they also did the Bullet game.

Okay.

Steve McQueen.

Yeah, I know Bullet. They're fucking Mustang fastback, baby.

Yeah. And when Atari sold them to Ubisoft, sold them for $24 million, which seems like nothing in today money. Nothing for, like, a big company, that's pretty low. Yeah, I just saw that Stephen King's publisher, whoever publishes Stephen King's Book, just got bought out for $1.6 billion. And that's fucking books.

That's Books.

Yeah, that's books. Who gives a fuck about books?

Yeah, right. Books is for dummies. Books.

Smarties fucking nerds.

Yeah, fuck them. Nerds. Reading makes me sleepy.

Yeah. And Atari was the publisher of this game.

Of course they were.

Atari and infograms.

It's okay. I don't like the name Infograms because I always think it's Infogames. And then there's that random R in the middle and then it's a nonsense word.

Yeah, it is.

What are grames? Nothing.

You don't like to play video games?

I don't like to play video grames. Just call them info. They probably couldn't. That was probably what it was.

Just put an R. It's probably taken when I took the notes on it, too. Every time I typed it, it's fucking spelled. It has a spell check thing. I didn't know this until I looked it up. Infograms announced a game boy. There's a game boy advanced version of this game.

Wow.

Which I can't imagine it being any less frustrating than this version.

Other than the fact you can't see you wouldn't be able to see as much. Well, you can't really see a lot in this. We'll get to it. Yeah, we will fucking get to it.

Well, I guess we can talk about the story as much as there is one.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's a story in this sequence. I drive a police car chasing one of the densest gangsters round warehouses. I need to stick close the whole time to make it look right. At the end of the stunt, I have to ram the lead car into the river.

So the story is that you're a stunt driver and they're shooting, like, some behind the scenes shit.

Yeah.

Which is never really explained. They're just shooting some behind the scenes.

It's like a documentary about you with the stuntman guy.

Yeah. And then you're like, oh, yeah, I got to drive this car through the boxes.

I'm wearing a racing suit all the time for no reason.

Since we're in Europe, the steering wheel is on the other side of the car. Can you believe that was my favorite line? So we drive it on the right side with a little steering wheel like, okay, sure.

I will probably talk about stunts a little bit during this episode, but possibly that is my favorite ever stunt is from the movie Ronan. There's a car chase where they are driving against traffic on a freeway, and there are cameras in the thing and de Niro's driving and someone else is driving, isn't it? Jean Renault in that genreau is in that, too. And the reactions are fucking great as they're driving, and they're, like, really jerking the wheel. And I read that the reason those reactions were so good was because it's set overseas, is set somewhere with right drive cars, but they used American cars with dummy steering wheels for right drive. So Robert de Niro is sitting next to a stuntman, actually performing this stunt, actually driving against driving the wrong way down a freeway with other stunt drivers. So his reactions of being scared are actually fucking real because he's in fear of his life.

Hell yeah. I love that movie.

That's a good love. Ronan.

Yeah. 47. Ronan with Keanu Reeves. Not so good.

Not so good.

Not so good. But fuck all this story nonsense. Let's talk gameplay.

Gameplay.

Through the gap, hit the boxes. Through the gap, hit the boxes. Break.

And cut. So in stuntman, there are three modes stuntman, career, stunt, construction, and driving games. Now, I don't know about you, but this reminded me heavily of, like, Tony Hawk.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe I just played too much Tony Hawk in my life. Every game reminds me of Tony Hawk.

It has that vibe, though, right?

It does. It has a Tony Hawk vibe. It has a Tony Hawk if you're bad at Hawk vibe.

Sure.

So it's insanely frustrating.

Yes.

This game is so frustrating.

This game is bullshit.

But the main mode is the career mode.

Oh, yeah.

So you are working on six different movies and you have, like, six different stunts you have to do for each of these movies. And you're timed and how well you do and how accurate you are depends on what you unlock. And if you go too slow, you fail. Or if you crash too hard, you fail.

Or if you go off the correct path. Yeah.

If you reverse right when it starts. If you reverse automatic fail.

Yes, correct.

Straight to jail. Straight to jail. So the movies are kind of funny, and then when you complete it, you get like a cutscene of all the stunts.

Yeah. After each stunt, you can watch a replay where it's like the best.

It's put together kind of like a trailer.

Well, that's at the end of each level when you beat the movie. But after each stunt, you can watch a replay where there are camera angles. It's like grand treesmo where it's not just the behind the car view, it's like, oh, you're coming down.

Blah, blah.

That was well done. Yeah. And then after each you complete a movie, they show the trailer. And your actual stunts that you did from your gameplay session are the stunts in that movie.

So if you want to see just how poorly you did, trust me, you did poorly.

Because it picks the same ones each trailer like, it'll pick this moment from this. It won't say when you did best. So if you fucked something up that ended up being in the trailer, it'll be in the trailer.

Yeah. And the first level you do is like a Guy Ritchie lockstock two Smoking Barrels type movie called Toothless in Whopping.

Sure.

And when I say this second stunt on this fucking level made me want to break my controller in half.

Is this the one where you end up on the dock?

Yes.

Fuck that. Fuck. Well, fuck this game. This game is bullshit. But fuck that one in particular.

That fucking level is one of the worst levels of any video game I've ever played.

Video game history.

It's in the what a bullshit level. First off, the first turn you make, if you fuck it up, you're done. You can get stuck sideways in that alley like Austin Powers where you're trying to, like, beep, beep, beep.

This game is a masterclass on getting stuck sideways. Like, it's like a stuck sideways fucking simulator.

And it's not clear. They don't make it super clear how you're even supposed to beat this fucking level.

No.

But it does set the tone for what the kind of gameplay loop is, right?

Yeah.

They don't expect you to pass any of these levels on the first run.

They do fucking not.

You do a practice run so you can kind of learn. It might take you a couple practice runs to where you can kind of learn the turns, figure out the sequence of events because they're short. Right. You have like 30 seconds, a minute tops to kind of go through this course and do these stunts. And I want to say off the top, the idea of this game is great.

Holy fuck, is it an amazing idea. But the execution, man, like, I want.

This a modern version of this game.

Give me fucking a rock star. Give me a good developer who understands that games are supposed to be fun. Not necessarily challenging is one thing, but just being dicks to the player is yet another. Give me a developer that understands the difference.

You know what it reminded me of? It reminded me of Midnight Club with that level where you have to chase that dude down.

Absolutely.

You just can't get near him no matter what you do.

Fuck yeah.

There are some levels in this game that are just absolutely.

The bullshit. They're bullshit.

But every level, you're going to do a couple test runs to kind of, like, learn the course, and then you can get through it. And here's something that the game also is fucking terrible at, letting you know how to control the car. So it takes you a minute to realize that, like, oh, shit. I'm pressing the X button a little hard. The harder I press it, the faster I go.

Yes.

Or if you're using the analog sticks right. The right analog sticks forward makes you go forward, backward makes you go back. The harder forward you go, the faster you go. That's not really explained. So basically your instinct is to go full tilt.

Yeah. No, this isn't a full tilt.

And that is not the business. That is not how you do it. Don't give it the so much as tap that. ebrake. You are doing a full 360.

You sure are. And if you so much as tap anything, your car reacts as if a small bomb has been placed beneath it. You bounce into the air like 3ft, and immediately it's so fucking.

Is not this game is not for filthy casuals. Yes, but even if you're well versed in driving games I'm a driving it doesn't feel too intuitive.

No.

Then the second level is Dukes of Hazard type thing set in Louisiana. And this is my favorite title of all of them. It's called a whooping. And a hollering.

It's pretty good. It's pretty fucking good.

Yeah. And then there's blood oath which is filmed in Bangkok.

John Wu style. Yeah.

John Wu style. And then a thriller called Conspiracy.

Conspiracy.

Yeah, like Tom Clancy's conspiracy. And that one features a snowmobile chase in Switzerland.

Yep.

And then there's a scare of lost Souls, which is like The Mummy or Indiana Jones or something like that. And you have a Jeep and you're driving in Egypt and then Live Twice for Tomorrow is exactly what you think it is. And it's in Monaco. And that's basically story mode. There isn't a lot of payoff to the end of the story.

No.

But every time you do a successful stunt, you unlock pieces like ramps and shit like that that go into the second game mode, which is the stunt construction mode, in which basically you have like an arena and you place all the rant it's build a park from Tony Hawk.

Yeah.

And then you just do the stunts. And then there's the driving games, which are like mini games. Right. And honestly, if I could do it all over again, I would say driving games is where you should probably start.

It would be a good tutorial. I agree.

Yeah. Because there's the precision test where you follow arrows and cones and pass through gates, and it teaches you about green arrows mean forward, blue arrows mean backwards, and it's a good primer for that. And then there's speed tests where you.

Have to finish a lap on a course.

And then there's stunt tests where you have to collect the tokens.

Right. They feel like an afterthought, but I feel like it is important to play them before you play the game. I'm not saying that they should have had it like you have to play them like an actual tutorial. But maybe if they had been first on the fucking menu screen, it would have helped instead of last and looked like they were just tacked on.

If you don't play them, guaranteed, that second level will make you pull your hair out.

I was ready to kill someone.

I was so ready, I was killed mad. And there's a couple different camera angles you can do, like grand tourismo, right?

Yeah.

There's the default setting, which is the chase setting, where the camera is up and behind your car. This is kind of my favorite setting for this kind of thing.

Yeah, absolutely.

It's how I play grand tourismo, too.

Same.

Then there's driver seat, which is I'm not a big first person bumper, where the camera's at the front tip of your car.

Even worse.

And it's always in the middle of your car. Then there's stationary, where the camera stays in one position while tracking your car. And you can only do that in the stunt constructor mode. Right. And then distant, where the car stays far back. And that's also a stunt constructor mode, only kind of thing.

Right.

But this game suffers from being such a good idea.

Everything about the idea. They nailed it. They fucking nailed. Watching the trailer of the stunts you did after you've completed your job on the movie is a stroke of fucking genius. Yeah.

It's kind of like I think this game might be marginally better than Jackass, but there's a Jackass quality.

Yeah. Same vibes. Yeah.

I think it's just the driving is not very fun.

Well, okay, so the controls are I'm not talking about the buttons. I'm talking about how the car's control is shit. It's hard to describe this, but it's like you're on a moving turntable. There is no feel of physics when you round a corner. It's just your car just turns and you don't really skid out. And you will spend most of your time cutting corners too close and bouncing off a wall. It will happen on every level, and you will never, ever get better at it and never be able to avoid it. It's just going to happen just because of the engine. The other thing, the unforgivable fucking sin for me in this game is it's something from video games, from way back. And it's putting things in a place, putting objects, obstacles that you can't hit in a place where they know you're going to be, when you're going to be there. There will be a car that just is in a place, so you have to swerve to avoid it. And I understand as a stunt game.

It happens in the first level when you have to overtake the car. The overtaker, there's a truck coming.

There's a truck coming and it's not advanced enough. They weren't quite there where they could make it work and match your speed so you could get through it's on a timer. It stops. It literally stops at the same point. So if you're behind on the stunt, you are going to hit that truck 100% of the time. Yes.

And this is clearly another game that's kind of riffing on the Grand Theft Auto Three sort of driving. Which is fine, but here's the difference. The Grand Theft Auto Three driving, while not great, was kind of wild for when it came out. But it was forgiving enough to where you could go around town. And it's not like, oh, I'm fucking hitting everything. And every time I hit something, it's like wrecking my entire like, I've got to take a minute to be like.

Yeah, the way your car spins out of control if you hit a fucking lampp post. And I understand that's real life, but this is a fucking video game, guys.

Yes. Also, just the amount of skid you get from just tapping the brakes at all yes. There's no way to not slide right, which gives it like sort of it's like a boat. It's like you're driving a boat.

That's what I meant by the turntable. It's a boat.

It's a boat.

More than a car.

And that's very frustrating. I will say the game doesn't look bad.

No. For the time, I actually think it looks really good.

Yeah. The soundtrack is decent.

Decent.

It's like butt rock and like stock.

Blues music, but the music matches. Also the movie you're in, which is fun. Yeah.

Which is great. I will say. I think the thing other than getting stuck in that one fucking alley over and over again, the thing that annoyed me the most about this game is this game has insane load times.

Yeah.

Holy shit. Yeah, it does. This game has so many load screens and it takes so long every time you fuck up a stunt, which you will do a lot, it's like, okay, 15, 2nd load screen time.

And you're just like the other thing when you fuck up the stunt that we have not mentioned yet is you have the I guess he's the second unit director in your earpiece or whatever. So he will tell you what the next expected stunt is. Go through the tunnel, do an ebrake turn overtake, and you will get so sick of hearing this fucking voice. Especially when you're trying to complete a level for the fifth, 7th time. twelveTH time, and it's the same fucking thing over and over again.

Or right when you're about to pass a gate and the time runs out and he's like, it's too slow.

Too slow. Fuck you, second.

Beat that second unit director to death.

To death. Fuck him.

What a piece of shit. He is not a fan. He's not a fan. I would love to play a modern version of this game. That's the thing, is that this game gets kind of rough around the edges, which means, I mean, we'll probably never get, like, a remake or something. But the idea of this game is so good that I would love to play, like, a modern version of it.

I want to fucking reach out and buy it and buy the IP and then start pitching it to fucking companies that could get excited about and it would actually make an awesome fucking game.

So apparently there was a sequel in 2007, a PS Three Xbox 360.

Interesting.

And apparently came out on PlayStation Two, which is a big red flag.

Got a big red flag there. Yeah.

Called stuntman ignition. I wonder if that's any better.

I doubt it.

I guess it could be worse. I'm looking at the name of the movies for the sequel aftershock, like, Dante's Peak and Volcano. A whooping and a hollering.

Two genius. They knew.

They knew. Strike force. Omega overdrive. Never kill me again.

That's a James Bond again.

Yeah. And Night Avenger, which is Batman.

Batman. Yeah.

And it's different developer. Different developer. Different publisher.

That's interesting because maybe that would be worth a check out, because I just feel like the creative and then the nuts and bolts were so far apart on this. The creative people, like I said earlier, were just fucking hitting it out of the park with every choice they made, but they didn't have the team to make it. Their I hate to say this, but their fucking vision. So the game sucks. I mean, this game is bullshit. And it shouldn't be. This game should be awesome. This should be like a holy shit. I had no idea this game existed. Fun time.

Absolutely. Okay, so this is super interesting. I'm looking at the developer for the sequel.

Oh, boy.

It's a company called Paradigm Entertainment.

Oh, boy.

The sequel was their last game ever.

Oh, no.

But you go back and their first game was Pilot Wing 64, which Whips Bang that game. Slaps arrow fighters assault for the N 64. Banger. F one World Grand Prix for the N 64. Banger. And here we go. This one's the one that gets me really excited. Beetle Adventure racing for the N 64 banger. Then they also did F one World Grand Prix Two. Indie racing 2000. They did MX Rider for PS Racing.

2000 is a fucking good game.

Spy Hunter. The first one for PlayStation Two. They also did Terminator Dawn of Fate, which I hear is pretty bad.

Know anything about that?

And then they did stuntman ignition. That was the last one. They were working on a Beetle adventure, racing two for N 64. A Pilot Wing 64 sequel. They were working on a bunch of stuff.

Yeah, they fucking closed the doors.

Yeah. So that's super interesting. I wonder now I kind of want to try this second stuntman game. So if anyone out there has a copy of Stuntman Ignition for the PlayStation Two, hit me up on Instagram at Funeral Casual Games.

Early Plug. Not bad. Not bad at all.

But hey, we've done enough bitching and moaning. Let's look at what other people thought of this. Thought of this crazy game.

Absolutely.

This here is the Basco Boys. And this here is the Nitro people's gut to thinking is Moonshine. All of which means this here is Sheriff Emmett P. Porkswine dragging their tail when he should be after Old Heinous here who everyone knows is the local bootlegger whilst they're out clearing their names with the Sheriff Tail, ragging them all the way to the county line.

Would it shock you to know that this game received mixed or average reviews on Metacritic?

No, mixed is exactly it should. I mean, this is you know what.

Would shock you is that the Game Boy advanced version did up better than the PlayStation Two version.

That actually does shock me. That shocked me.

Yeah, the Game Boy advanced version got a 77 out of 100 PS 271 out of 100. Okay, GameSpot did recognize this game as the third Best game. And I originally read, like I'm reading this right now, and My brain was like, 2002. But then it's June 2000, and June just that month, and that's the third best game.

And historically, the big boys don't come out in fucking June. You put out your games around Christmas. You don't put out summer games. The idea is no one's in the fucking inside playing video games.

Kids aren't at least, I guess the exception, like, this year would be Diablo, right?

Six. Six. Yeah.

I think that kind of thematic.

Yeah. And that's also a sequel that was going to whenever you release it, is going to do well.

Yeah. Maxim, famous for their video game reviews, almost nothing else, gave the game an eight out of ten. Praising its homage to Hollywood action packed scenes, they stated, if you think the best parts of movies involve explosions, car chases, and death defying leaps, then this homage to Hollywood's unsung lunatics is just the thing for you. They didn't play all of those things, and that's not what this game has given me.

I really don't think they played it. I think they just thought they saw someone.

They saw the idea.

Yeah.

That's something I would say if someone just pitched me the idea of this game.

If I read and it didn't say and I didn't read any of the criticisms, I just read this idea and then read about you get to watch the trailer and blah, blah, blah. This sounds like a fucking awesome game.

Yeah. FHM another titty mag.

Almost. Titty mag.

Yeah. Gave it three out of five stars, finding it a genuinely great idea, but incredibly frustrating.

Dead on for him.

Magazine, Entertainment Weekly, famous also for their video game reviews, rated it a C and advised players to wear a helmet while playing because you'll be banging your head against the TV in frustration. Accurate.

Sitting pretty close if you're going to bang your head against your television.

I know, right? You're going to go cross eyed.

Yeah. See, exactly.

So my mom always said, right? Close.

Yeah.

So let's see. All Game gave it a two and a half out of five stars. Edge, I guess, gave it a five out of ten. Famitsu gave it a 28 out of 40. Game Informer gave it a 9.25 out of ten.

Did not play the game, did not play the game.

Smoking did not play the game. Game Pro gave it a three out of five stars. Game revolution gave it a B minus. Christ. Game Spot gave it an eight out of ten. Did not play game Spy gave it two and a half stars. Game Zone give it 8.3 out of ten. IGN gave it 8.6 out of ten. That's fucking insane.

Insanity.

And PlayStation Magazine gave it three out of five stars. Goddamn. This is a game that really benefits from the five star rating system.

Yes, it does.

Because it doesn't feel quite bad enough to have two stars, but three stars feels like too much. Yeah, it's exactly oh, my God. Yeah. Cannot believe that. That's some wild.

There's some wilder.

I'm surprised at the insane discrepancies.

Yeah, I really do think okay, Maxim. I joked about them not playing it. But I also think the ones that are like video game magazines I do think are really weird because Maxim, Entertainment Weekly, whatever you could figure, they're like, well, we don't really play video games. So I'm not good at some dude.

With a Vaughn Dutch fucking trucker hat played the game for like 15 minutes and wrote that review.

And they're like, I'm not good at this kid's shit. Where's my Titty mag? And they're like, yeah, so I get that. But fucking game spot. Giving eight out of ten, IGN 8.6.

Game informer 9.25 out of ten is like, egregious.

Egregious. That would get you into Harvard. Like, are you saying this game if.

It was video game Harvard?

Video game Harvard? Are you nuts? Yeah.

It's an absurd ranking, but the only rankings that really matter are our rankings.

There's two coming up. Yeah.

So ian yeah. Stuntman, you clearly love this game with all your heart and soul. What are you ranking in your patented out of 1000 ranking system?

Patented? Patent pending.

Patent pending. Yes.

I'm going to talk about real quick a game that was out in the early 1990s. I believe it was only on PC. It was called Stunt Island. It is still, to me, maybe the most ahead of its time video game in fucking history. So what you do is you would be given much like this. Well, the ideas was you're on an island of stunt people, and you'd be given stunts. You'd have to fly a glider through a fucking open castle door before the door closes.

Like pilot wings.

Pilot wings. And then land on a catapult. And it would shoot you in the air. But then you've completed the stunt. It's all well and good. It's a lot like this game. The part that made it stand out, you could edit your footage. You could make a fucking movie. And it was accurate. It was an NLE fucking system. And that makes it really hard for me to judge this game on two levels. One, I'm reminded of this game of Stunt Island with Stuntman. Two, this does not come fucking close to Stunt Island, but the framework is there. I think this idea will always work for me. So my review, I'm going to give my out of my patented 1000, I'm going to give Stuntman patent pending. Patent pending. I'm going to give Stuntman 486 out of 1000.

That's higher than I thought you were going to be.

Ideas. I will say, if it was just the idea, I'm at 960. If I didn't actually play the game, 960, boom. Yeah.

I will say that the best thing that's come out of reviewing this game is that I really want to play Stunt Island. Now.

You should. You should seek it out. It's a fucking incredible game.

But this game, I like Driver, especially Driver two, a lot.

I.

Have a lot of memories of driver two. And my thing in driver two was driving so I wouldn't get pulled over.

Okay.

I was young, I was a kid, so I was like, oh, yeah, I got to stop at the stoplight. Can't crash into anyone playing paragon. Yeah. I'm like, oh, yeah, I want to be a good driver.

Good driver. See that's little carrot good driver written over there?

Yeah. And I like those games a lot. And this game, the idea of it, I was sold on immediately, but I think the execution is just so lacking, and it's not even lacking in a way that it doesn't feel thought out. This game feels thought out. Problem is, I think it's just the controlling the implementation of it just missed the mark. The driving isn't very fun. Literally, if you just fix the driving, this game's easy. Eight out of ten, it walks to.

An eight out of ten. And the better the driving is, the closer we get to nines and ten.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

But with the way it is, I have no choice, kind of. But I'm going to give it three and a half out of ten. Austin Powers stuck in that hallway, sad with that golf cart truck thing.

Just over and over. Yeah, I'm going to put out the call to Rockstar or other good fucking developers, people who know what they're doing, people who know what this should be, who see the framework and say, that could be an A game. Get this IP, figure out how to get it, and fucking rerelease this, and you're going to have a fucking hit. Especially. Well, now that CGI is a thing, maybe the world of stuntmen isn't quite so amazing, but yeah.

It'S not even like the PS Two was uncapable of. Nailing this driving a all the grand theft auto or not? Grand theft autos. All the grand Tourismos on PS two are pretty good.

Yeah.

Auto Modalista, a Capcom game, has great driving. It's just this one misses the mark. So I guess what I got to do. Well, thank you for listening. Make sure you smash that, like, button. Smash, subscribe, smash all the buttons. Just hit all the buttons.

Just mash it.

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Casual games, and I'm at Ian Golding games. And yeah, thanks again for listening and we will see you next week.

Badaboom, badabing.